I help people with all sorts of problems and there is a common theme throughout, the felling of “I’m not good enough”! This is so often the cause of weight gain, substance abuse, depression and so much more.
The felling of “I’m not good enough” often owes its origins to an event in childhood. This event is frequently long forgotten, but the feeling is there. Just a few badly chosen words from a parent, teacher, family member or adult friend can lodge in the subconscious and create that “I’m not good enough” feeling. This feeling is the cause of many people’s depression. Of course, some people battle on regardless and some are so determined to escape their past that they throw everything into work and become very successful.
Other feelings linger on from childhood. For example, anger and the need to be in control. These feelings have a huge impact on behaviour and relationships.
So is a stroke a traumatic event? Well I think you’ll all agree that it is! Stroke survivors have all been traumatised. Logic says that many should be suffering from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). You can look up the Symptoms on the NHS web site here
Are stroke survivors depressed? Why wouldn’t they be? They have lost their independence; they have lost their job and they have lost their old life. They spend weeks or months in hospital. They can’t walk. They can’t drive. The list goes on….
Now back to the question. Clearly, those old pre-stroke feelings come up post-stroke. For some those feelings may have been supressed or managed for decades. So there will be feelings of “I’m not good enough” and of course now I’m disabled as well and I can’t do anything for myself. So that proves that “I’m not good enough”. The trauma will leave anger if there was no anger before. The survivor will also be asking “why me”? They might also feel guilty or in some way responsible for their stroke. So in any one person there will be a whole mixture of feelings and emotions, none of them very helpful.
So what’s the answer then? I’m not going to say NOT anti-depressants, because I do think they can be helpful in the short to medium term. They key to moving forward and leading a happy fulfilling life is to understand those feelings and get rid of the unhelpful feelings that are getting in your way. If pre-stroke feelings have come back up, that may not be such a bad thing. At least you know they are there now. Hypnotherapy can help to discover the origin of those feelings. Often these are events long forgotten. Once we know where those feelings come from, the pieces of the puzzle begin to fit together. Once people can see the whole picture things become so much easier and the feelings subside and disappear.
Counselling and Hypnotherapy can help to manage and get rid of feelings of anger and “why me”. Mindfulness training and Hypnotherapy can help survivors to stop dwelling on the past and engage with the present allowing them to so many simple day-to-day pleasures.
So that’s a short answer to a complex question and I hope you find it helpful.